Embracing Dissonance

Oh how discomforting it is to fathom uncertainty or inconsistency. So much so, we are inclined to avoid acknowledging it. Every narrative, every theory, every framework for life or knowledge. When something strikes convincing to us either through resonance, respect for authority, or just a need to belong; it is challenging for the best of us to dissect the knowns from the unknowns, and to keep doing so.

It is also much more natural for even the most evilest of people in history to believe and rationalize everything they stood by or did; it's an easier option than drowning in guilt. Or the notion or possibility of estrangement. What does that make of the much more agreeable grays we all deal with in our everyday life?

The seeds for curiosity and ignorance seem to be the same: the need to make sense of things, within or beyond our direct experience. The difference manifests in how willing we are to channelize the inclination to striving for more; rather than taking cognitive and psychological shortcuts blindly. In defining significant matters or even entire lives around frameworks that don't make sense.

It has to be acknowledged in any measure that the same inclination to want to see the whole, to make better sense of things, to rationalize and theorize; over generations and generations of permutations, combinations and course corrections - have gotten us where we are. Instincts, heuristics, narratives, analogies - everything played a major role in helping our ancestors survive, and building bridges for their successors to thrive. Too much curiosity and rigor can backfire when you need to have quick reflexes to survive, or communities not be alienated from.

To me, it does not sit right to sideline and condemn what may be seen as 'ignorance' or 'impulse'. I believe doing so itself is a sign of ignorance. Albeit I do find it extremely saddening how this very need to have a framework to understand things, to explain what makes sense and what doesn't, to bifurcate good and bad - lead us to fall victim to fallacies, mental misery, or exploitation.

Dissonance is a wonderful umbrella term for all things inconsistent, unknown, hypocritical, not fitting of our world models. It can be brutal. It's worth questioning, though. Why? Why does it have to be that way? If only we could be more comfortable with not knowing, our worlds could be in many ways much bigger. It is often a precursor to innovative thought, creativity, humility, and a willingness to appreciate perspectives beyond ourselves better.

Curiosity itself is far more boosted when one is willing to accept the uncertainty in ones worldviews. Imagine having full conviction in everything one knows or thinks one does. What motivation there is to look for alternate explanations? If anything, it's far more natural to protect the image in our mind. In the need for consistency, invite ignorance while also being ignorant towards the ignorance.

Dissonance to me also entails imperfection, fallibility, being full of flaws. What is perfection without a standard? If I have to assess this piece I am writing - do I hold it high linguistic or communicative standards? Hell no. I am cringing by the imagination of exposing how flawed my unhindered writing could be. But at the same time; I feel liberated. To be finally putting out a post after months. Standards of writing or any other human interest, themselves are figments of human narratives. Those of comparison, social standings, conventions of purity and achievements. While also touching onto the many bifurcations of 'good and bad'. And overdone, they could push oneself far below than one is capable of.

Am I advocating for carelessness? No. If I were to do so, I myself would be preaching or advancing a narrative; just opposite to the typical. The point is to liberate oneself from the narratives in our lives, in and out. Not to be reckless and blindly anarchist. To know what is appropriate when, while also not dogmatizing anything. To be open towards the strengths of and limitations to whichever possibility or direction we come around. Of course we couldn't humanly appreciate everything. But we can be more aware of what we do not know; and not putting any known or revered 'way of things' as the superior most.

I aim to grow more comfortable in my own skin. In my flawed abilities and identity. And in not knowing things. And I hope we as a society could also place less glamor to having everything figured out, to being conventionally successful or attractive or popular. I hope to live more fully. And I hope we could collectively cultivate comfort towards not knowing and being flawed, and also towards what our impulses or knowledge might make us look down towards.

Dissonance is not dirty and undesirable. And I am trying to actually live by that, to the extent I can and to the extent it makes sense. An unabridged post after months of inactivity with really no expectations but to just write and connect - is part of the same embracing of dissonance.¹

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